Author: Terry Nguon

Teaching from: It’s Not All In Your Head with Anse Shehnaz from the 11th July, 2019.

A few weeks ago, we began a new chapter at the Rhoda. Over the past few years, Focus: It’s a Journey has served as a constant reminder that our relationship with God is a journey, and not just a standing place. We were reminded that our relationship with God and Islam is something that has to grow, something we need to grow into, and something that we need to move along in. Our being Muslim is not a mere identity, nor a list of things we need to do. Anse Shehnaz began teaching a new class in July called It’s Not All In Your Head: Experiencing Devotion to the Creator Through the Inner Dimensions of Islamic Worship. The title of the class was inspired by its regular attendees as well as the many people who write to our teachers. Anse remarked that many of us are inundated with a lot of information. We are exposed to a lot of knowledge, but maybe not in a consistent manner. There are individuals who may not be attending any specific institution, but nonetheless are exposed to a lot of ideas and concepts around Islam, and life itself. Sometimes, what happens is we start to make everything in our heads and everything becomes a long drawn out process of thinking, analysing, ruminating, theorising, and hypothesising such that we kind of get stuck there. We get stuck there and do not actually know how to move forward or how to take a real step forward in our journey.

In this new class, we explore the inner dimensions of ibadah, which are acts or expressions of devotion to God. Ibadah rests upon a foundation of ubudiyah, which is the quality of being a seeker and servant of God. It is about knowing who we are in relation to God, and is expressed and manifested in things like our trust, our gratitude, our sense of honoring, and our sense of awe in Him. These acts of devotion we engage in are meant to bring us closer to God as the word ibadah comes from abadah, which means “to make your way towards a destination”. Ibadah of Allah, therefore, is about making our way towards God.

Our acts of devotion to God have a few important purposes and Anse explained that we would bear these in mind as we make our way through the course. In this class, Anse Shehnaz introduced us to five purposes of ibadah and what they offer us.

1. Healing

Firstly, we were taught that ibadah provides healing. The healing of trauma and negativity are hidden gifts that God puts in all ibadah. Whether we are aware of it or not, healing takes place when we engage in devotional practices like praying extra prayers, praying on time, reading the Quran, or supplicating and making dua’a [1]. Munajat, which is expressing our sense of awe and sense of wonder in God, and praising God is another form of devotional practice that we were introduced to. All of these things have great healing in them.

Anse Shehnaz reminded us that we have different kinds of trauma that we need healing from, including trauma from things you may have witnessed as a child, trauma from a bad marriage, or trauma in terms of negative memories that you may have stored up. But, another form of trauma is that which comes from sin. Sins leave gaping wounds in the spiritual heart, and if not treated right away can become infected. When the heart becomes infected, it becomes more susceptible to diseases of the heart, including: pride, argumentativeness, arrogance, jealousy, envy, love of the spotlight, love of showing off, and doing things for the eyes of people instead of God. Tawbah [2] and istighfar [3] are how we treat the initial wounds caused by committing sin. By putting tawbah on these wounds right away, we prevent the infection of the heart and subsequent diseases from taking root. Anse Shehnaz remarked that we need to seek healing through ibadah, not always assuming that this healing will come through things like counselling, or even community. Sometimes people rely so heavily on things like counselling to the point they have talked about their problems ad nauseam, and nothing changes. We need something that will heal us once and for all. Ibadah has to be a part of the story. Healing is the first purpose of ibadah.

2. Good Spiritual Health

The second purpose of ibadah is for the maintenance of good spiritual health. We are able to maintain good spiritual health by having good practices in our lives, as any act of devotion we engage in regularly will be a source of barakah [4] and wellbeing for us. We were taught that ibadah are like vitamins and minerals that sustain spiritual wellbeing. Each one has its own value just as each vitamin has its different role in the body. But, for these vitamins to actually have an effect, they need to be taken regularly – not just once and then stopping. Each type of expression of your relationship with God and each way that you engage with Him is like a different vitamin that sustains a different part of you and nourishes a different quality in you. We should not go through life without having tried all the different vitamins as they are all sources of nutrition for us.

3. Empowerment

The third function of ibadah is empowerment. We were reminded that ibadah is not an end in and of itself, but a means to an end. Fasting, for instance, is not an end in and of itself. This is very clear from all of the teachings of the Prophet ﷺ, may the peace and blessings of God continue to nourish his essence and our connection to him. If we do not get any spiritual enlightenment out of it, he says very clearly that we do not need to do it. If it is not going to make us better people and prevent us from speaking ill of others, then do not bother. God has no need for our thirst and hunger. All ibadah is like this. Each act of devotion has to have a deep effect on us.

The empowerment that Anse Shehnaz speaks about in this class is about our being able to do the right thing in those moments in our life that call for us to do so. Here, she is referring to the big moments in our life that stand out, where we have the choice to either take the high road or go low. Those moments where someone really hurts you or insults you, or those moments when you are really disappointed. These are big moments. These are defining moments. These are watershed moments in our lives. It is frightening when we are not able to recognise these moments, because these are the moments that determine who we are. All of Islam is about learning to take the high road. To not engage when someone wants to pull you down or when the situation invites you to be your worst possible self. It is about resisting and being khaira ummah – the best manifestation of what humanity is, in order to serve the rest of humanity. Ibadah gives us an energy that is not physical. And it is not a mental strength either. It is a spiritual energy. We could be very weak physically, but spiritually, we have it in us to bite our tongue.  

Anse Shehnaz’s teacher used to say that ibadah creates a bubble around you so that the things that normally bother you, it is as if they are coming from a distance. You can kind of hear it, but it is not audible enough for you to even respond or react. When we have little to no ibadah we are sensitive to everything and everything bothers us. Ibadah takes care of this and gives us the exact opposite state where the things that normally cause us to explode with frustration are no longer a thing. Ibadah empowers us in this way.

4. Solace and Relief

Our acts and expressions of devotion to God also provide us with solace and relief. Anse Shehnaz got us to reflect upon where we go and what we do when we get stressed out. Some people turn to retail therapy and others might go out for dinner. Some deal with their stress by playing and listening to music. What is that you do when you are stressed? And where is that you go when things are not going right? Ibadah is what we are supposed to turn to. But, for most people it has become a source of stress itself. Engaging in prayer or reading Quran has become stressful for people. This happens to us when we have a “to do list” attitude towards ibadah or approach it with an attitude of perfectionism. Perfectionism can lead us to not feeling any relief when we think about something like reading Quran, or making wudhu [5] and praying two rak’ah [6] just to seek God’s comfort. If we feel like we need to be perfect while engaging in these acts of devotion, then we will not go to them when we are feeling low and not feeling perfect.

The Prophet ﷺ, would tell Bilal (may God be pleased with him), to “Relieve us with [salah]”. This is how the Prophet ﷺ would ask his Companion to call to prayer and this is how he perceived it – as relief. If we are not able to perceive it in this way, then we are far from where we need to be. If we are going to everyone and everything else other than God when we are in trouble or not feeling good, then it is likely we have an issue with ibadah. The value of our engaging in these spiritual practices when we are down is that we simply show up. To show up with the Quran in your hand. To show up for Fajr [7] prayer. We need to just show up and come as we are in seeking this relief and solace.

5. Progress and Self-Development

Finally, the fifth purpose of ibadah that we discussed was that it facilitates progress and self-development. Our expressions of devotion to God deepen who we are as people, especially when we approach them with the desire to access their inner dimensions. Our ibadah are acts of devotion that cement, express, and advance our sense of connection to God.  They create layers of beauty in our personalities. We become complete in our understanding of God and understand nuance when it comes to Him. We understand the nuances of the messages He sends to us. This becomes possible because ibadah opens up our spiritual senses. The opening up of these spiritual senses and senses of the heart is an intrinsic aspect of our development as Muslims. Personal development for a Muslim means that they become someone who has their five senses of the heart open up. Imam al-Ghazali devoted a lot of attention to this dimension of ibadah. He spoke much about the senses of the heart and the ways in which we are able to bring them back to life. He talked about the way in which we engage them, how to keep them healthy, and about the blessings that come when they are alive and working for us.

At the end of the lesson, Anse Shehnaz encouraged us to remember the five purposes of ibadah that were covered in the class. This was a list that Anse Shehnaz personally came up with as a means of summarising knowledge she was given. She noted that this list was not exhaustive and that it is likely we would be adding to it as we progress in the course. The aims and hopes for this course is that we are able to develop a healthy relationship with ibadah and to discover the power and beauty within it. Anse Shehnaz was adamant that we not sell these acts of worship short and emphasised that they have a huge power:

“The person who recognises the wellspring of power in ibadah and goes humbly to drink from it is able to grow. They grow. And they grow. And they grow. And they become more beautiful. And they become more light-filled. And there is no limit to how far they can go in their beauty. They just become an expression of devotion to God, and when you are with them, you want to go home and devote yourself to God. [This] is what is possible.”

– Anse Shehnaz Karim

[1] Dua’a is an invitation. It literally means inviting God into one’s life. It is often translated as supplication.

[2] Tawbah is the state of redemption, reached through repentance. It is a state in which God’s light floods the heart, illuminating it anew.

[3] Istighfar: The literal meaning of istighfar in Arabic is “to empty the heart of all its darkness, in order to receive the light.” It is commonly translated into English as “seeking forgiveness”. Seeking forgiveness is seeking for one’s heart to be emptied of the darkness accumulated by sin. Istighfar is a sweeping away of this darkness. We should seek forgiveness and seek that our hearts be emptied of its darkness to make room for light.

[4] Barakah: Commonly translated as blessing.

[5] Wudhu: ritual washing done before prayer.

[6] Rak’ah: a single unit of prayer.

[7] Fajr: morning prayer offered before sunrise.